When Love Kills: What the Sonam Raghuvanshi Case Says About Us

Love kills

The gruesome murder of Raja Raghuvanshi, allegedly at the hands of his wife Sonam Raghuvanshi, has sent shockwaves through the Northeast, where the incident occurred. While the details are still unfolding, the crime has become fodder for social media, where memes about blue plastic drums, men undergoing “army-style training” before marriage, and exaggerated portrayals of spousal violence have flooded timelines. These viral posts may provoke laughter, but they also dangerously trivialize a deeply troubling reality. Beneath the humour lies a serious question about the state of modern relationships, and the silent fraying of our society’s emotional fabric.

It is easy to dismiss such incidents as exceptions labeling them as bizarre anomalies that do not reflect larger societal patterns. But that would be a grave mistake. This case is not isolated. Across India, headlines are now frequently splashed with horrific accounts of domestic violence, manipulation, infidelity, and betrayal. Increasingly, relationships are becoming transactional, mistrust-ridden, and alarmingly fragile.

One such case that involves allegations that the wife, with premeditation and stunning composure, dismembered her husband’s body and stored it in a blue drum for weeks. The act is not just criminal, it is terrifying in its cold detachment. That a person could live around a decomposing corpse while calmly going about her daily routine should give all of us pause. This isn’t just about one couple’s tragedy. It is a reflection of something broken in the larger social consciousness.

Today’s youth are growing up in a world vastly different from the one their parents knew. Relationships have become more fast-paced, with dating apps and social media transforming the way people connect and commit. Unfortunately, these technological advances have not been accompanied by the emotional or psychological tools needed to navigate intimacy, trust, and conflict. There is increasing evidence that many young people lack the maturity to resolve issues without escalation, leading to a spike in emotionally charged violence.

What is particularly alarming is the normalization of dysfunction. Popular culture, particularly in OTT platforms and cinema, has blurred the lines between passion and pathology. Unhealthy jealousy, obsession, revenge, and even murder are often romanticized on screen. Viewers, especially impressionable ones, internalize these narratives. The Sonam Raghuvanshi case appears to be yet another case where reel meets real life in the most horrifying way.

Then there is the deeper issue of mental health. Whether or not Sonam was suffering from any psychological condition is a matter for the courts to decide. But the glaring absence of mental health awareness and intervention in our social systems cannot be ignored. India continues to stigmatize therapy, counseling, and psychiatric help. We often label erratic or violent behavior as “madness” or “evil” instead of seeking to understand the root causes. In doing so, we fail not just the victims, but also potential perpetrators, who might otherwise be helped before they cross the line.

Another layer to this crisis is the media. Sensationalism sells, and this case, with its grisly details and meme-worthy props, has become perfect tabloid material. But in doing so, the media risks stripping the crime of its gravity. Instead of prompting national reflection, the public is being nudged to consume the tragedy as grotesque entertainment. This cheapens both the life lost and the seriousness of the systemic issues that led to it.

What kind of society are we building where people see marriage as a power struggle rather than a partnership? Where arguments can turn fatal, and partners live in mutual suspicion instead of trust? Where grievances are not resolved through communication but through control, manipulation, or worse; violence?

There needs to be a serious rethinking of how we prepare individuals for relationships. It is no longer enough to teach children how to read and write, or even how to land a job. Schools and colleges must incorporate emotional intelligence, communication skills, and relationship education into their curriculum. Families need to teach sons and daughters alike that abuse, be it verbal, emotional, or physical, has no place in a healthy relationship. And society, at large, must stop glamorizing toxic love.

The Northeast has always prided itself on progressive values, gender balance in several tribal societies, and a certain gentleness in community living. This incident shatters that self-image and compels the region to ask tough questions. Has modernity, with all its speed and spectacle, stripped us of the patience, empathy, and value system that once held our relationships together?

The memes will eventually fade. The hashtags will change. But the trauma of those directly involved and the societal decay that allowed such an incident to happen will remain unless we act. If this tragic episode is to serve any purpose, let it be as a wake-up call for serious introspection, reform, and most importantly, compassion.

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